Aversion to publicity
As for me I was so absorbed in myself (in the remembrance of God) that I
was living a life of seclusion; nothing was dear to my heart except He Himself.
I did not like to come out of my room and not for a moment I wanted publicity
for myself. I was all alone - and isolated - and that was all I liked most.
Publicity and a Jamaat around were most averse to me. How much averse were
these things to me is better known to God the Almighty. But God compelled
me to come out. I did not like it, but He let it be done against my wish;
for, He had assigned a duty to me. He chose me for His work and through
His grace He honoured me with this great position. It is His own selection;
I have no hand in this matter. What I could observe is that I wished to
stay far away (as if it is miles and miles away) from publicity and from
the people in the form of a Jamaat; I simply cannot understand how do the
people hanker after publicity - I was drawn altogether to the other direction
whereas God's will was quite different. I supplicated to God repeatedly
that I should be left in seclusion - in my room of aloofness. But I was
repeatedly instructed by God to come out and work, for, the religion was
in a very precarious condition at that time; I was told to come in the open
and straighten the affairs of religion. The prophets are always like that
- they are very much averse to publicity - no prophet has ever wished for
it. The Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wa sallam)
also like to remain
in a secluded place that is why he used to go to the cave Hira far away
from the people. This cave was full of perils so much so that nobody dared
go inside it but that is the place which he chose for himself; he did not
like the publicity in the least. However, God commanded him in the words
'Ya ayyohal Moddassiro qum fa anzir.'
There seems to be a sort of compulsion in this order from God Almighty
and reason for this order from God is that the Holy Prophet (sallallaho
alaihi wa sallam) did not like to come out of his seclusion. There
are some people who out of their ignorance think that I like publicity.
I have said it repeatedly that I do not like it, it is God who has brought
me out in the open.
(Malfoozat vol. 7, pg. 43)