Home / Friday Sermons / July 2nd, 2004

Relationship of Husband and Wife

Summary of Friday Sermon Hazrat Khalifatul Masih V(aba)

After recitation of Surah Fatiha Huzoor(aba) elucidated through ahadiths and various writings of Promised Messiah(as) about the responsibilities of husband in building a strong family.

Huzoor(aba) said that Allah made man stronger than woman so that he could bear more responsibilities as a head of family, as a husband and as a father. To be a good model, a husband must be at such a level of piety that the family in the house could follow his example in life. To attain this level of piety, special prayers for oneself and the family are needed in addition to personal effort.

Huzoor(aba) expounded that the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be on him) was the most excellent model for us to follow in maintaining healthy and strong families. Quoting various Ahadiths, Huzoor(aba) explained the role of Holy Prophet(sa) as the best husband and head of the family.

As the head of the family, a husband is responsible to provide for the needs of his wife and children. He should spend time with his family, bring them to the Jama'at events and be part of their interests and problems. In everyday life we see that a successful leader is the one who is fully aware of the problems that lie in the domain of his responsibility.

Some people, Huzoor(aba) pointed out, tend to run away from their responsibilities and forget the rights of the people who depend on them. For a true Momin to achieve the heights of piety, he must face the problems and find the best resolution for them.

It is very important that people bestowed with the authority by Allah continuously monitor themselves to ensure that they are fulfilling their responsibilities. If we claim to be the true follower of the Holy Prophet(sa), Huzoor(aba) advised, we have to fully adopt his ways of life.

On the topic of physical punishment of women by their husbands, Huzoor(aba) said that men are made powerful so that they provide for their family. If the wife shows rebellious attitude, he is required to give a friendly advice at first, if this does not work then stay away from her in the bed and if all other options are exhausted then he is allowed to use light physical punishment. However, this should not be taken as an open permission or an excuse to physically inflict punishment on your wives. If this cruel act is brought in the attention of Jama'at system, it will be dealt with very severely.

Huzoor(aba) advised that husband and wife should not highlight each others shortcomings rather they should look at the qualities that each one possesses and be thankful to Allah for it.

There is a need for husband and wife to have Husn Sulook with the relatives of each other. Most of the time, the major disputes stem from the fact that either husband or wife threatened or said bad words about ones relatives.

In todays society, social functions tend to be mixed. Men should be careful at such places as this could hurt relationship of husband and wife and might result in a break up in the family.

Th husband has no right to whatever the wife earns or possesses. Jama'at has strict policy against people who take away the belongings of their wives unwillingly to fulfill their personal desires.

Huzoor(aba) emphasized full cooperation between husband and wife in everyday life. If someone is late from work and the wife went to bed after having dinner, this should not be taken offensively rather husband should understand this and have his food without disturbing anyone in the house.

"Slave of his wife" is a very common label for someone who is helpful to his wife. Huzoor(aba) denounced this attitude. Huzoor(aba) said that this is wrong and we should keep ourselves away from such thoughts. We have a perfect model of Holy Prophet(sa) in front of us.

Huzoor(aba) quoted the Holy Prophet(sa), who said that a woman is like a rib, if you try to straighten it, it might break. Elaborating this Hadith, Huzoor(aba) said that a woman is blessed with greater spirit of sacrifice and only by becoming a good model for them husbands can have good and beneficial relationship with them.

The Holy Prophet(sa) said that best among you is the one who is kindest to his family. And the worst is one who is quick in "Talaq".

Sometimes in the family disputes parents tend to take extreme steps and ask the husband to push the wife out of the house and some husbands go ahead to perform such cruelty. Such men are not worthy of being called as "Men". Hazrat Masih Mau'ud(as) said that husband and wife should stay together as very good friends. Those who do not deal with the relatives of their wives kindly are not part of my Jama'at.

Another matter, Huzoor(aba) addressed, is punishment of children under the influence of anger. Parents should pray for their children as the prayers by the parents for their children are most likely to be accepted by Allah. We should treat our children respectfully to nurture high moral values and self respect in them.

On the matter of daughters, Huzoor(aba) said that daughters deserve our best treatment. He quoted a Hadith narrated by Hazrat Ayesha(ra) that those who bring their daughter up well, Allah will make this a means of their entrance into heavens.

Huzoor(aba) pointed out that when Hazrat Masih Mau'ud(as) prayed, firstly he prayed for himself, then for the people in the house, then for the children, then for the friends and finally for all the people who are part of his Jama'at.

May Allah enable us to fulfill our duties so that when we die and stand in front of Allah, we are among those who fully performed their duties in our lives.

Huzoor(aba) concluded the Sermon by announcing the opening of 28th Jalsa Salana Canada. Huzoor(aba) asked Jamaat members to pray for the success of Jalsa. The organizers of this Jalsa are here to serve you so cooperate with them, Huzoor(aba) instructed. Maintain an atmosphere of brotherhood and love. May Allah make this Jalsa bring about a spiritual change in you.


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